It is like a disease so hard to cure…The fear of the unknown in every facet of a relationship. Though we try to pull free from its clutches, it seems we are bound in it. A glance, a smile, a touch, a peck, a hug, a visit, a call, or a text sent in another direction no doubt brings undue thoughts running through our heads. Even when they are sent to seemingly “non-threats”, our minds play a cruel joke by bringing to heart the fact that ‘love’ can happen to anyone at anytime and anywhere with anybody.
It’s not that love is not there, it is not as if care and warmth are not showered on us; yet we cannot just fathom the reason why we feel the way we do when we see the one we love around another.
We cannot explain the cause of our mood change when we find the one we love beaming and being radiant with another. Jealousy at the fact that someone else is the reason for his/her smile and he/she is so engrossed in such conversation they do not even notice we are alone and in need of their company.
What do you make of the fact that the one your heart beats for is constantly seen in the midst of “threats or competitors”, dishing out smiles, hugs, laughter and kisses to all and sundry yet you do not receive any. Even when they are aware of how you feel and try to reassure you - how true is their claims of faithfulness, how honest are they when they swear that you are the only thing that matter to them.
And indeed there is this fear within you, prompting you that they are just saying what they know you would love to hear and not necessarily the truth. This causes confusion in you because you actually do not want them to change who they are just to please you - neither do you want to be a shadow or crowd them. However it seems you are already losing them gradually, and the connection between you two is weakening. There is this possibility that someday, one day, they are going to get tired of it all {the fear factor, doubt and perhaps insecurity} thus walking out of everything.
What then becomes of us if truly what we were seeing was the magnified version of the reality and there is absolutely nothing to what we were worried about… more questions yet little answers.
Hence we just lost out of everything for nothing… the fear of Insecurity!
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